Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The right Kinda love(friends)

I was never the girl with so many friends that I never had to be alone and while I was a child I felt bad for those girls that were. Now as I have aged those old friends are gone and new friends have come into my life, I am realizing that I am the one responsible to my friendships that failed or never quite light up. I used to cringe at the "can I help you? " Do you need anything?" or "I'll be right here for you" comments. It always made me feel inadiquate or less than I was capable of. I was a "strong" dependent woman would could do anything! Yeah, life has had its way of stripping me of that.Now when I feel the most volunerable and I do feel physically alone, I miss those kind jestures but I know the reason why I no longer get them is because I have turned them down so many times. Just like a friend I once tried to make. I moved to an area that I was not familiar with all but begged for this one person to be friends. Invited the family to house, to the park, to the lake, tried calling texting, I eventually felt like I got the hint that either they were to busy to have friends or just didn't want to be friends with us sooooo I quit making those leaps of faith and asking for company. SO now, why would all those "helpers" want to even offer help anymore. I wouldn't..... I say all this to say if you have those people in your life KEEP them, Talk to them and let them know what you are going through. I thank God he has given me atleast 1 really good friend who has always been here for me and will always be there. But there are so many bridges and ties to some of the others I feel like they are completly non existant.

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