Sunday, August 26, 2012

The broken window that wrecked my life!

When you see your life spiriling out of control and you are so depressed that you can't even see it, everyone seems to think that you okay. The faces that we put on each day can be a facade that not many can see through... When you thought I was just lazy, you couldn't see the battle that went on just to get up and face each day. When you thought I was being mean you couldn't understand that I was thinking of how I thought you should be treatng me. When you saw me sad, you just saw me sad, you never thought I wished I didn't exsist. You saw the happy face and assumed all was well. You never thought to ask why I was tired all the time. You never thought to look at my hands to see the marks I left on myself. You never looked deep into my eyes to see the tears. You never did, but it wouldn't have mattered if you did. I hid it well. I lived my life each day with a smile on face when anyone was around, I kept my hands closed, and my glasses or makeup cover my eyes... The battle was within, the battled lived in my head and grew like a cancer in my heart. Then you left and nothing else seemed to mattered. Thats when you assumed the worst in me and never let me explain. That's when the battle started to flow outside like a growth on my back that weighed me down to a point that I no longer cared. No answer would be good enough, No excuse would be heard. Your mind was made and thats all that mattered! Your mind, your feelings, your assumptions overruled anything I could say! Thank you for assuming the worst because it was then that I saw it too and then I realized somethings had to change. Thank you to the person that crashed my life and gave me the stregth to move on be who I am today I wish I knew you in person so I could show you the pain you caused and the friendships you broke but God knew you would do what you did and knew each event that would occur after so Thank you for breaking that window! ...

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